My hopes for 2019

2018 has been a real turning point for me. It’s had so many ups and downs but it’s helped me figure out what I want out of life. I used to be a big party animal, going out almost every weekend and getting dangerously drunk. Through 2018 I made some big changes to my life and received a diagnosis that proved I’m sick, not broken.

2018 was a tough year. I cut a certain ex out of my life for both of our sakes which, if I’m being honest, is still a lot harder than I thought it would be. As bad as we were for each other, I do miss him still but I know it’s for the best for both of us. I’ve also lived on my own for over a year now: in charge of keeping the house tidy and paying for all of the, ever increasing, bills; keeping the cats, hamster and now rabbits safe, healthy and happy and; taking care of myself, which is something I still struggle with.

But 2018 wasn’t all bad. I made a new friend who I honestly don’t know what I’d do without; I went on lots of holidays and actually enjoyed them and; I managed to stay in work, although it has been tough and there have been quite a few days I haven’t managed it.

They say ‘new year, new me’ but unfortunately it’s not that easy. It may be a new year but I’m still the same person. I still have the same physical and mental health conditions so I won’t be a ‘new me’. In 2019 I’m going to strive to be an improved me.

Now, I know that I won’t be able to completely solve all of my life issues in 1 year, that’s not possible, but what I can do is work towards solving them. I can put effort into building effective coping strategies, take small steps to build the life I want. By the end of 2019 I would like to be slightly closer to the person I want to be.

I would like to have a routine that I am able to follow consistently. I would like to be able to spend a day on my own each week. I would like to be furthering my education and working towards my dream career. I would like to begin the correct treatments and be on the appropriate dosage of any medications. I would like to finish decorating my house which has been on hold in 2018 because my mental state hasn’t been the best.

This is going to take consistent hard work and effort but if 2018 has taught me anything it’s that I’m not alone. There are lots of people who want to support me to get better but I have to be willing to put the effort in, too. Getting better is going to take team work but I have the right support in place now to do it, I just have to put the work in.

Happy New Year everybody! I hope 2019 is a good year for you all and you achieve even just small steps towards a life worth living 💖🎊

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